- Ruka Curate
Stay-at-Home Dads Aren’t Lazy
With the year 2017 right around the corner, we are steadily outgrowing old traditions and understandings of what a family “should look like.” No longer are moms expected to stay at home with the kids, and no longer do women get dirty looks for putting on a pair of pants and aspiring to have a career. So, why are dads taking so much heat for considering a role change in their households?
Let’s dissect the most common questions that pops up at even the slightest whisper of the words “stay-at-home Dad.”
“But where will Timmy look for a strong male role model?”
Timmy’s role model is right there in front of him helping him with his homework. Now little Timmy will get to watch his dad prepare lunch for his mom (if she isn't dashing out the door)- demonstrating the love and affection a man can show to his wife. Now little Timmy will have more time to hear his father’s thoughts on life. And now little Timmy is less likely to feel unwarranted pressure to conform to gender roles just like his father. According to Psychology Today, children whose fathers play an active role in their life tend to be more emotionally secure and show advanced levels of social development.
“Doesn’t it feel emasculating to have your wife as the breadwinner?”
Only to men who already feel emasculated. In reality, it takes a strong man who is secure with himself to be at peace with the decision to take on traditionally what's been a female role. A stay-at-home Dad is already well aware of the judgments and remarks that are going to be made, but he doesn’t care. So, why does everyone else? Studies show, that when a husband and wife share the responsibilities that come with being a family and raising children, the couple grow closer through a newfound mutual understanding.
“Won’t he just turn into a couch potato?”
Stay-at-home Moms don’t turn into couch potatoes- they don’t have time! Why would it be any different for the dads? This notion of “lazy dads” has no basis and is just thoughtless input. If dad manages to make the lunches, do the laundry, run the errands, pick the kids up from school, help with homework, cook dinner and get them to bed on time…then he can be a couch potato if he so pleases. By that point, he’s earned it. Let's not forget that some stay-at-home dads may just be lucky enough to be working from home. So unless there is a nanny that can help with the children. This person now has to take care of the little ones while calling into a conference call.
According to Pew Research, as of 2014, around 2 million men were stay-at-home Dads in the US. This movement is already happening, but why is society so slow to stand behind it? As a people, we need to make up our minds: do we want our fathers present? Also, do we want to empower women with the option of having kids and a career? If so, we’ve got to stand up for these adaptations in the home. I’d like to see more stay-at-home Dads represented on television and I’d like to see more men feeling comfortable expressing the desire to raise their children. America, it’s time for a Stay-at-Home Dad Revolution!